- February 15th 1998, Houston, Texas.
- Buyrate: 0.52
- Attendance: 16,110
Free-For-All
Dok Hendrix reveals the main event is Non Sanctioned, Michael Cole recaps Ken Shamrock's problems with The Nation, did Rock ever deliver a non-sick chairshot to Ken? We get a video hyping Vader/Kane then Sunny interviews Vader. They shill a Stone Cold shirt. A video hypes the PPV's main event, it says Shawn Michaels will pick his replacement, if he did then he pulled the greatest rib on Vince in the history of professional ribbing, though this is null and void about an hour and a half later in the actual PPV as HHH says they'll do a handicap match but Cole tells him WWF will pick the replacement.
PPV Starts From Here and the opening video is okay.
Headbangers Vs. Mero/Goldust (w/ Luna)
Sable was there as well but Mero sent her to the back, you know Mero/Sable were like a modern spin on Savage/Liz. Mero hits boxing punches on Mosh but he's soon clothesline over and out. The HB's are on top of Goldust, Thrasher suplexes Mosh onto Goldust. Mero blind tags in, I think he tagged Mosh initially. Thrasher is cut by the ringsteps and is your Headbanger-In-Peril as crowd chants 'Mero Sucks'. Mosh makes the save after a sitout powerbomb. Thrasher lands on his feet from a TKO and DDTs Mero, hot tag to Mosh. Luna puts a stop to Stage Dive. Sable comes out and Mero and Goldust have to restrain her and Luna. Headbangers pull the old switcheroo and Mero is inside cradled by Thrasher for 3 @ 13:52. **1/2 - The crowd gave this a bump for me though they weren't the only good thing about it as I like psychology, even more so when it works in getting the crowd into it.
Kevin Kelly and The Jackal plug the superstar line.
Owen says there wont be a problem with him and Austin as long as they stay out of each others way.
Light-Heavyweight Title - TAKA Michinoku (c) Vs. Pantera
Sunny is the ring announcer. Pantera's outfit so lowrent and bad even Jarrett wouldn't of worn it. Brian Christopher joins commentary. Pantera somersaults out onto TAKA as the announcers now do the Lawler/Christopher father/son bit that they did at this time. Pantera sends TAKA off the apron with a headscissors, that was nice. Brian actually says 'Slanty Eyed' on commentary, oh Jesus wept this guy *rolls eyes*. TAKA is backdropped out and a tope con hilo follows, at least that's what JR called it I get all these over the top moves mixed up and JR used to mix up the Hardyz when Jeff had multi-coloured hair so it could be wrong. Pantera does a nice pin attempt, he had him akin to a Submission I think Charlie Haas used to do. Top rope hurricanrana then a moonsult gets Pantera a 2 count. Michinoku Driver is countered with a roll up but it doesn't get the win. TAKA hits a powerbomb to counter a hurricanrana and Michinoku Driver gets 3 @ 10:10. *** - Really weird watching a match like this on a 1998 WWF Card, then again I guess they weren't WWF wrestlers really. What they did was impressive but in there structure these matches are akin to ECW's much maligned spotfests but using aerial moves rather than weapon shots.
Kevin Kelly is with Cactus and Charlie.
The Quebecers Vs. The Godwinns
This may be *the* most heatless match I have ever seen and that is not an exaggeration. These teams cost each other matches on Shotgun Saturday, is a Shotgun rivalry really PPV worthy? Pierre has an eye thing like Deadshot, which is fitting as this match is something that sounds like Deadshot, hint there's an i replacing a letter. Even start with nothing notable going on, in fact there's only two notable things in the whole match one is Lawler asking 'where's Lee Harvey Oswald when you need him' in reference to Clinton, he was from Arkansas you see just like Godwinns so he must be a backwards pig farmer bear in mind McMahon is from North Cackalacky and the other noticeable thing is how cold the hot tag is, no-one and I mean no-one made any noise when the Quebecer tagged in, it was so bad I almost felt sorry for them. HOG clotheslines Pierre for 3 @ 11:14. *1/2
Cornette and Jarrett cut a pre-match.
NWA North-American Title - Jeff Jarrett (c) (w/ Cornette) Vs. Bradshaw
Jarrett has Cornette, Windham and the Rock 'n' Rolls with him, I know Jarrett held the NWA World Title for about 50 years in TNA but that was in the 2000s prior to that I don't associate Jeff with the NWA so don't get why he's being used in part of Vince's thinly veriled burial of NWA against the WWF, though NWA hosted matches the WWF couldn't touch if it tried. Only Jim's allowed to stay ringside as he has a managers license. Bradshaw whips Jeff with his chaps and Jeff gets offence when Bradshaw goes after Cornette. My two kittens have started wrestlign and are doing NWA style transitions, in true Dusty NWA style Rosemary won via pinfall but was DQd as a different ref made the count so she isn't RKW champion. Bradshaw gets 2 off an inside cradle, I thought he'd botched a DDT at first. Cornette uses his racket on Bradshaw's knee so Jeff starts working it, makes since given the Figure Four, speaking of which that's called for but Bradhsaw blocks it however he is soon DDT'd when Jeff ducks a clothesline. Jarrett uses the racket and is DQd @ 9:00, gotta protect that Bradshaw guy. PM - Bradshaw slams Cornette so NWA guys attack then LoD make the save, you know what would of been good and maybe revbitalized LoD's WWF career? Had they turned on Bradshaw here and joined their NWA compadre's, I mean most people think of Road Warriors when they think of NWA. **
HHH says wrestlers all over the world want to join DX but no-one can take HBK's place and it'll be a handicap match, Cole says WWF officials will appoint someone but HHH doesn't care.
Dok Hendrix interviews Nation and it's great as Faarooq is cutting a serious promo but Rock is goofing around, he rolls his eyes and i'm sure it's now a gif.
War Of Attrition - Nation Vs. Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson, DoA
'Rocky Sucks' chant. NAtion here are Faarooq, Rock who's the IC Champion, Kama, D'Lo and Mark Henry. This match is Rock and Kens 457th meeting out of 956 in 1998. Nothing of note to start as faces are on top of D-Lo. Henry in and he wants Ahmed, Henry wins a punch off by going to the eye but Ahmed soon slams him. D'Lo hits a Frogsplash/Lo Down on Ahmed who to be fair was quite a bit away. Rock saves Faarooq from Pearl River Plunge. Rock in and gets 2 off a DDT to Shamrock. Skull/8-Ball is stomped by The Nation. People's Elbow minus pad removal hits but the other twin makes the save. 8-Ball or Skull is your face-in-peril. D'Lo heads up but misses a moonsault. Shamrock is in then everyone comes in for a huge brawl then when the ring clears Rock submits to the Ankle Lock @ 13:46 and my god Ken doesn't get himself DQ'd post match. Post Match there's dissension in The Nation. **1/2 - I do like multi-man tags, match was just okay itself though but it did play into the Nation's dissension stuff between Rocky and Faarooq, which would end with the leader Faarooq being turfed.
Stone Cold doesn't care who the mystery partner is.
Kane (w/ Bearer) Vs. Vader
Kane barbequed his brother at the last PPV. In the hype video for this we see Kane setting a Vader clock on fire, what a heel! Crowd really like Vader, weird seeing him as a face as i'm used to the monster heel. Man I love Kane's original music. Even start as they go ringside a few times. Kane hits his clothesline off the top then pummels Vader in the corner as fans chant for the man for the Rocky Mountains. Iron Claw to Vader as Kane is tracing Takers career back to World Class. Vader has the briefest of brief comebacks but is soon back on the defensive. Kane goes over the top but lands on his feet. Knowing wrestling as I do know it's funny as you can tell when wrestlers are discussing the next set of moves. Vader hits the Vadersault but Kane sits up. Kane recovers from a powerbomb and a Tombstone ends it @ 10:58. *** - It was actually pretty good for a Kane match, better than I was anticipating that's for sure, we had Kane doing UT stuff but you know what would of been an absolute beautiful touch, if Kane had hit Vader with a middle rope chokeslam like UT did at IYH 16. Kane's no selling also makes Taker look better when beating him at Mania as here nothing Big Van Vader did stopped him, sometimes no selling is acceptable.
Pretty good video hypes the main event.
NAO/HHH/Vega (w/ Chyna) Vs. Austin/Owen/Cactus/Chainsaw
Yes people they had this big who'll replace HBK thing and went with Savio, at least I guess him and Austin have hisotry from two years prior. Gunn brings a table down. Owen is European Champion, have I said how hilarious Savio as HBKs replacement is. Granted he's had no training but imagine if Tyson had been the man to add fuel to the DX/Austin thing or had Tyson not yet joined DX, was that in March? Austin massacres Billy and breaks a broom over HHH's back then hits him with it as we have a hectic start. HHH breaks a SharpShooter on Gunn then beats on Austin at ringside. Stone Cold almost decapitates Gunn with a clothesline. Hunter DDTs Charlie after multiple trashcan shots. Road Dogg breaks the Sharpshooter on HHH with a chair then Dogg powerbombs Charlie through two chairs as we've finally settled down to a tag match. Charlie is your Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Terry-Funk-In-Peril as Austin just lobs a trash can at Billy, that was great #StoneColdSteveBrady, also quick sidebar how great was Superbowl 51 unless you're an Atlanta Falcons in which case I've got two words for ya .... Good game, dman need will power as I must not do Bruce Forsyth pose. Cactus in and he puts a board in front of Dogg then whips Gunn into it., Double Arm DDT to Gunn, just realised half the participants are Kings Of The Ring, though Gunns was post this. Cactus is your Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Cactus-Jack-Manson-And-Mankind-And-Dude-Love-In-Peril. Savio wraps Cactus in barbed wire, is he doing that to look cool to DX like the kids that smoke to be 'hip' and 'with it', I didn't go that route in school I became the cocky loudmouth who'd challenge the 'cool' kids in jest. Outlaw miscommunication as Gunn hits Dogg with a chair. Hot tag to Austin who cleans house and Stunner to Road Dogg gets 3 @ 17:40. PM - Chyna is Stunnered after she pushes Austin and flips him off. ***1/2 - A fun at times chaotic, which made it fun, main event, I do enjoy matches like these I must say, I saw a cracking one last week on the Best Of The COTC DVD, Midnights/Fantastics from the first Clash. Oh man Savio Vega that still makes me chuckle.
18 / 35 - Coming in I wasn't expecting much really beyoned the main, I'd seen that on the original DX release, but i'd say this is one of the better IYH PPV's I've seen. TAKA/Pantera was good, Vader/Kane surpassed my expectations and the two muti-man tags were good fun as well.
Thumbs Up from me here.
Monday 13 February 2017
Tuesday 24 January 2017
WrestleMania 13
- March 23rd, Rosemount, Illinois
- Buys: 237,000 (Lowest I believe for a Mania)
- Attendance - 18,197
This Mania is presented by PlayStation, could be a bad omen being i'm an Xbox guy. Also I believe this Mania to have the subtitle Heat, now bar maybe V having The Mega Powers Explode, I can't remember if that's official or fan given, I can't remember other Mania's with subtitles. There was WrestleMania goes Hollywood for 21 but that was more a slogan than a subtitle.
Godwins (w/ Hillbilly Jim) Vs. Headbangers Vs. Doug Furnas/Phil LaFon Vs. New Blackjacks
Pre-match we see a clip of the original Blackjacks, probably shown so Vince could remember which name he was reviving this week. The last Mania called by Vince, also did French people stop following the Federation as the French Announce Team disappeared eventually, I seem to recall Rock threatening to take somebody through every announce team, I think Mankind so they were there in early 1999 at least. According to the graphics Furnas and LaFon were also known as The Headbangers, with them tashes had TNB thrown on dungarees they could've ran with a Mario and Luigi gimmick, oh Barry Windham what happened to thou from the 80s? Donald Trump, jr interviews TNB pre-match, good god my joke well is running dry and there's still around 3hrs left. Bradshaw wasn't *that* bad around this time as he did more than he would as an Acolyte move wise and didn't stink up the joint as he would as JBL. My god it's Headbanger Vs. Headbanger feel the tens .... no wait Thrasher's tagged out. Furnas hits a nice hurricanrana on Bradshaw. Lawler asks what would happen if a tag partner pinned his partner, now how Vince Russo never booked that is beyond me it's right up his street. Bradshaw hits ref and is DQd then Furnas and LaFon are counted out, so why not just do a straight up Headbangers Vs. Godwins from the start? Lawler asks Vince if he has any White Zombie CDs and the sound of Vince's responce 'White .... Zombie?' is the same as mine when my sister mentions an artiste of today. Mosh pins Phineus with a seated senton @ 10:38. *1/2 - Well that was as woeful a start to a Mania as i've seen, still as D:Ream said 'Things Can Only Get Better' or even Yazoo 'The Only Way Is Up'.
We see Lou Albano ringside, at least someone's enjoying themselves as Honky Tonk Man joins commentary.
IC Title - Rocky Maivia (c) Vs. The Sultan (w/ Iron Sheik and Bob Backlund)
Sultan is Rikishi and his pyrotechnics here are so low budget even SMW would be shaking its head if a promotion could indeed shake its head. Rocky's theme is a more basic version of his best known one, at least musically there's no 'If You Smell ....', though that would be appropriate as that match stinks. Honky says Rocky is trying to impress him with his sideburns. Rocky hits a dropkick so poor Sultan doesn't really sell it so he his another, 'Rocky Sucks' chant. Nothing match so far then Sultan really does the match a favor by applying a Vulcan Death Grip. Sultan hits a headbutt off the top and gets 2 off a one handed cover. Chinlock applied as even Earl Hebner looks bored rigid. He's Rocking up, some whacky dance moves thrown in there, crossbody hits but Sheik has the ref distracted Thrust kick and a dodgy looking piledriver both get Sultan 2. Rock wins via a rollup @ 9:46. PM - Rocky Johnson saves his son from Sheiky bay-bay. Turns out D:Ream were wrong all along. *1/2 - My god that was boring, special mention to Maivia's woeful dropkicks. One of these went on to be a huge star despite their appearance here and the other turned heel joined The Nation and became some little known wrestler.
Donald Trump, Jr. chats with Shamrock as Hendrix catches up with HHH,
We see Slammy highlights, Taker actually collects his award in person.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Chyna) Vs. Goldust (w/ Marlena)
Is Hunters theme here Ode To Joy? I'm not up on my classical stuff. Oh marone I haven't put enough sugar in my coffee this is getting worse by the minute. Goldust starts the better of the two but is soon dropped off the top rope to the outside, that was a good fall I'll give them that. hunter goes up top!!!! and hits a forearm/chop move. Hunter applies the abdominal stretch, this can't be the same guy who would go on to be Triple-H and have the 2000 that he did, there must've been a switch at some point, I reckon it happened at the pre-No Mercy SMACKDOWN! in late 99 when they did that bit where Austin threw a snake in a room with him, I reckon this Hunter here was then written out of the storyline and they hired a new person to play HHH from No Mercy onwards but he got injured in May 2001 and when he returned and stunk up the joint for many a year after that was this HHH here who'd been rehired to play Hunter, that's my theory anyway. Goldie counters a hiptoss to a backslide for 2. Goldie goes for a scoop slam but the weight of Hunters conk weighs him down and HHH gets a 2 count. JR notes that Chyna has barely moved, he fails to note that she's probably fell asleep. Hunter does a flip in the corner from a whip and a woman screams. Hunter counters Curtain Call but the Pedigree is avoided with a slingshot but Goldust is distracted by Chyna going for Marlena and the Pedigree gets 3 @ 14:27. Well Yazoo were wrong as well. *1/2 - They were given time to work with but my god it was boring, the last section was okay but doesn't cover for the previous 13 minutes or so. Hunter would be saved from tediousness soon via Foley.
WWF Tag Team Titles - Bulldog/Owen (c) Vs. Vader/Mankind (w/ Bearer)
For them the challengers are positively svelte, Bulldog had been showing signs of a face turn before this match though officially both are heel teams which doesn't help with the crowd. JR interviews the Champions in the entranceway. Vader pummels Owen, clotheslines have no effect on BVV but a heel kick does get him down. Owen is powerbombed, Vader seemed to let him go low, but Bulldog puts the kibosh on the Vader Bomb. The Champions tag whilst both are in-ring and the ref allows it, Jack Doan, is to the Hart Foundation as Nick Patrick was the nWo. Bulldog is lowbridged to the outside where Vader hits him w/ an urn. Bulldog is your Adopted-Canadian-In-Peril as Mankind pummels him in the corner and his his corner knee. Owen gets the tag but soon falls victim to a nice double team as Mankind hits the Cactus Elbow but with Vader holding Owen a la Demolition Decapitation. Owen plays heel-in-peril, he hits a nice and I mean real nice belly-to-belly on the outside when Mankind charges at him, Owen really did do the best belly-to-belly suplexes. Cold tag to Bulldog who cleans abode. Powerslam is countered with Mandible Claw and they tumble ringside for a double countout, ugh. ** - Lame ending to an okay if nothing special match, we had the tag staples but fans didn't bite so it lacked that feeling of a good match, a bad crowd can ruin many a match, the fact that there's two heel teams no doubt is partly to blame. I hear Vader/Mankind were set to win the straps here but Bret changed it and set up the Hart Foundation stuff.
Submission Match - Bret Hart Vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Ken Shamrock is the special ref and this is where Austin has the 3:16 glass entrance which is better than some of the OTT ones we get now, the KISS thing man, Keep It Simple Stupid. Austin charges Bret and they go ringside early where Bret is crotched on the guardrail and clotheslined off. They fight through the crowd, hey there's an nWo shirt, foreshadowing!!!! Back ringside and Bret avoids a shot from the ringsteps and Austins leg seems to get caught awkwardly. In ring Bret works Austins leg, he goes for that move where they place opponents leg on the rope and jump on it but it misses and he is Stunnered but Austin can't capitalize. Bret busts out the ringpost Figure Four, that may be its PPV debut. Bret has a chair and tries to do a Pillman but Austin recovers in time and uses the chair on Bret. JR 'It's not about posing or covering a bald spot'. Victoria Crab applied but Bret makes the ropes. Bret breaks the Sharpshooter by going to the eyes and Lawler brings up if Bret submitted to the Sharpshooter and Vince replies 'hey it could happen', how little he knew. Austin is busted open by the guardrail, Bret targets the cut as JR asks 'is this the match Bret wanted?' is that a sly reference to the vetoed HBK/Bret match when Shawn had a split hair or something, Bret uses the chair on Austin's knee but Stone Cold breaks the Sharpshooter in the same manner as Bret did earlier, I like that. This has been going 17:40 and it feels like 5 minutes. Austin stomps a mudhole after Bret takes his patented corner bump. Soon Austin is choking Bret with a cord but he hits him with the ringbell, Rock > Scissors > Paper > Ringbell > Cord. Sharpshooter applied, we get the famous Austin visual, you know the one and Austin almost breaks it but passes out @ 22:05. Bret attacks again after the bell but Shamrock stops him, Bret is booed. Chioda comes out to help Steve and is Stunnered, he takes it more awkwardly than Vince does. ***** - Arguably the greatest Mania match, the match itself was very good but the whole thing with the double turn makes it great.
Donald Trump, Jr chats to Public En .... no sorry Nation of Domination. Faarooq = Chuck D, Crush = Terminator X, Clarence Mason = Proffesor Griff so D'Lo is Flava, and PG-13 = S1W.
Chicago Street Fight - LOD/Ahmed Johnson Vs. Nation
Officially it's Crush, Savio and Faarooq but all the Nation are there. PG-13 rap NoD to the ring, I prefer this to the instrumental version. Ahmed is dressed as a Road Warrior. Vince shills Mania 14, little did he know how big that would be. Big brawl to start with the faces on top, Ahmed somersault planchas over the guardrail onto Crush, whaaaaaat? There's to much going on to keep track of, making it fun to watch but hard to review. Animal with a dodgy piledriver to Faarooq on a table, they kind of fell off it. The as yet unamed D'Lo Brown holds up a sign which Savio throws Hawk into. Ahmed powerslams Faarooq through a table. Ahmed is choked with a noose. Faarooq now has HAwk in the noose as PG-13 get some digs in. Doomsday Device to Crush then Ahmed hitsh im with a 2-by-4 for 3 @ 10:45. Pearl River Plunge to D'Lo then a double Doomsday Device to PG-13, I liked that I must say. *** - I was tempted to go the full shebang just for Ahmed's plancha. A fun if at times almost to chaotic match here. Reminded me of Doom/IV Horsemen, also featuring Faarooq funnily enough, from Starrcade 90. These last two matches have finally woken the fans up.
Shawn Michaels comes down for commentary, announcing is better than jobbing I suppose.
WWF Title - Sycho Sid (c) Vs. Undertaker
Bret Hart won the Title at Final Four, cracking match check my review put then the match itself, as it had been vacated due to HBK breaking a nail or something *cough* didn't want to take the loss to Bret *cough*, Sid won the title the next night on RAW in the first title change in RAW history, at least the WWF Title anyway. I much prefer Takers Ministry theme, though true fact when humming it I do at time segue into Goldust's unintentionally. JR notes Taker's never lost at Mania, what ever came of that? Bret interupts the staredown and grabs a mic says he and Taker are no longers friends or BFFs in 2017 parlance, has a go at HBK then runs his mouth off at Sid and is powerbombed. Taker attacks as Sid threatens Bret. Deadman splash then a scoopslam gets 2. UT goes mid-school but is soon locked in a bearhug, we're only 1:47 into this. Sid delivers shots to the back then re-applies it. Deadman is sent flying over the SAT. Sid goes up top, oh how he'd come to regret that, and hits a double axehandle. Powerslam gets Sid 2 then he goes for a few more pin attempts. Sid is thrown into the crowd and unless UT channels Ahmed Johnson here then I don't care what happens. Chinlock applied then UT one ups that with a vulcan death grip. Double big boot has both men down. UT does his throat slit gesture as fans cheer, pobably hoping it's nearly over. Tombstone is countered and Sid hits his own for 2. Bret hits Sid with a chair, Vince earlier noted it was No DQ but the fans in the arena don't know that. Powerbomb is called for but Bret's here again and hotshots Sid and a Tombstone mercifully ends it @ 21:22. - I've always classed Miz/Cena as the worst Mania main event I've seen, I've watched Manias 12-27, 30/31, but now as of January 18th 2017 at 22:49 this one-ups it or one downs it I suppose. Just woeful it's as if the Mankind feud never happened and we were back to the UT of old.
15.5 / 35 - It looks okay as it's only 2 pts from .500 but more than half of it's score comes from the just two matches. Arguably the worst Mania ever, people mention IX but i've never seen it, for me this or 27 is worse as 27 may be better across the board but this has Austin/Bret.
Thumbs down as Austin/Bret is available elsewhere on their DVDs, get them instead.
- Buys: 237,000 (Lowest I believe for a Mania)
- Attendance - 18,197
This Mania is presented by PlayStation, could be a bad omen being i'm an Xbox guy. Also I believe this Mania to have the subtitle Heat, now bar maybe V having The Mega Powers Explode, I can't remember if that's official or fan given, I can't remember other Mania's with subtitles. There was WrestleMania goes Hollywood for 21 but that was more a slogan than a subtitle.
Godwins (w/ Hillbilly Jim) Vs. Headbangers Vs. Doug Furnas/Phil LaFon Vs. New Blackjacks
Pre-match we see a clip of the original Blackjacks, probably shown so Vince could remember which name he was reviving this week. The last Mania called by Vince, also did French people stop following the Federation as the French Announce Team disappeared eventually, I seem to recall Rock threatening to take somebody through every announce team, I think Mankind so they were there in early 1999 at least. According to the graphics Furnas and LaFon were also known as The Headbangers, with them tashes had TNB thrown on dungarees they could've ran with a Mario and Luigi gimmick, oh Barry Windham what happened to thou from the 80s? Donald Trump, jr interviews TNB pre-match, good god my joke well is running dry and there's still around 3hrs left. Bradshaw wasn't *that* bad around this time as he did more than he would as an Acolyte move wise and didn't stink up the joint as he would as JBL. My god it's Headbanger Vs. Headbanger feel the tens .... no wait Thrasher's tagged out. Furnas hits a nice hurricanrana on Bradshaw. Lawler asks what would happen if a tag partner pinned his partner, now how Vince Russo never booked that is beyond me it's right up his street. Bradshaw hits ref and is DQd then Furnas and LaFon are counted out, so why not just do a straight up Headbangers Vs. Godwins from the start? Lawler asks Vince if he has any White Zombie CDs and the sound of Vince's responce 'White .... Zombie?' is the same as mine when my sister mentions an artiste of today. Mosh pins Phineus with a seated senton @ 10:38. *1/2 - Well that was as woeful a start to a Mania as i've seen, still as D:Ream said 'Things Can Only Get Better' or even Yazoo 'The Only Way Is Up'.
We see Lou Albano ringside, at least someone's enjoying themselves as Honky Tonk Man joins commentary.
IC Title - Rocky Maivia (c) Vs. The Sultan (w/ Iron Sheik and Bob Backlund)
Sultan is Rikishi and his pyrotechnics here are so low budget even SMW would be shaking its head if a promotion could indeed shake its head. Rocky's theme is a more basic version of his best known one, at least musically there's no 'If You Smell ....', though that would be appropriate as that match stinks. Honky says Rocky is trying to impress him with his sideburns. Rocky hits a dropkick so poor Sultan doesn't really sell it so he his another, 'Rocky Sucks' chant. Nothing match so far then Sultan really does the match a favor by applying a Vulcan Death Grip. Sultan hits a headbutt off the top and gets 2 off a one handed cover. Chinlock applied as even Earl Hebner looks bored rigid. He's Rocking up, some whacky dance moves thrown in there, crossbody hits but Sheik has the ref distracted Thrust kick and a dodgy looking piledriver both get Sultan 2. Rock wins via a rollup @ 9:46. PM - Rocky Johnson saves his son from Sheiky bay-bay. Turns out D:Ream were wrong all along. *1/2 - My god that was boring, special mention to Maivia's woeful dropkicks. One of these went on to be a huge star despite their appearance here and the other turned heel joined The Nation and became some little known wrestler.
Donald Trump, Jr. chats with Shamrock as Hendrix catches up with HHH,
We see Slammy highlights, Taker actually collects his award in person.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Chyna) Vs. Goldust (w/ Marlena)
Is Hunters theme here Ode To Joy? I'm not up on my classical stuff. Oh marone I haven't put enough sugar in my coffee this is getting worse by the minute. Goldust starts the better of the two but is soon dropped off the top rope to the outside, that was a good fall I'll give them that. hunter goes up top!!!! and hits a forearm/chop move. Hunter applies the abdominal stretch, this can't be the same guy who would go on to be Triple-H and have the 2000 that he did, there must've been a switch at some point, I reckon it happened at the pre-No Mercy SMACKDOWN! in late 99 when they did that bit where Austin threw a snake in a room with him, I reckon this Hunter here was then written out of the storyline and they hired a new person to play HHH from No Mercy onwards but he got injured in May 2001 and when he returned and stunk up the joint for many a year after that was this HHH here who'd been rehired to play Hunter, that's my theory anyway. Goldie counters a hiptoss to a backslide for 2. Goldie goes for a scoop slam but the weight of Hunters conk weighs him down and HHH gets a 2 count. JR notes that Chyna has barely moved, he fails to note that she's probably fell asleep. Hunter does a flip in the corner from a whip and a woman screams. Hunter counters Curtain Call but the Pedigree is avoided with a slingshot but Goldust is distracted by Chyna going for Marlena and the Pedigree gets 3 @ 14:27. Well Yazoo were wrong as well. *1/2 - They were given time to work with but my god it was boring, the last section was okay but doesn't cover for the previous 13 minutes or so. Hunter would be saved from tediousness soon via Foley.
WWF Tag Team Titles - Bulldog/Owen (c) Vs. Vader/Mankind (w/ Bearer)
For them the challengers are positively svelte, Bulldog had been showing signs of a face turn before this match though officially both are heel teams which doesn't help with the crowd. JR interviews the Champions in the entranceway. Vader pummels Owen, clotheslines have no effect on BVV but a heel kick does get him down. Owen is powerbombed, Vader seemed to let him go low, but Bulldog puts the kibosh on the Vader Bomb. The Champions tag whilst both are in-ring and the ref allows it, Jack Doan, is to the Hart Foundation as Nick Patrick was the nWo. Bulldog is lowbridged to the outside where Vader hits him w/ an urn. Bulldog is your Adopted-Canadian-In-Peril as Mankind pummels him in the corner and his his corner knee. Owen gets the tag but soon falls victim to a nice double team as Mankind hits the Cactus Elbow but with Vader holding Owen a la Demolition Decapitation. Owen plays heel-in-peril, he hits a nice and I mean real nice belly-to-belly on the outside when Mankind charges at him, Owen really did do the best belly-to-belly suplexes. Cold tag to Bulldog who cleans abode. Powerslam is countered with Mandible Claw and they tumble ringside for a double countout, ugh. ** - Lame ending to an okay if nothing special match, we had the tag staples but fans didn't bite so it lacked that feeling of a good match, a bad crowd can ruin many a match, the fact that there's two heel teams no doubt is partly to blame. I hear Vader/Mankind were set to win the straps here but Bret changed it and set up the Hart Foundation stuff.
Submission Match - Bret Hart Vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Ken Shamrock is the special ref and this is where Austin has the 3:16 glass entrance which is better than some of the OTT ones we get now, the KISS thing man, Keep It Simple Stupid. Austin charges Bret and they go ringside early where Bret is crotched on the guardrail and clotheslined off. They fight through the crowd, hey there's an nWo shirt, foreshadowing!!!! Back ringside and Bret avoids a shot from the ringsteps and Austins leg seems to get caught awkwardly. In ring Bret works Austins leg, he goes for that move where they place opponents leg on the rope and jump on it but it misses and he is Stunnered but Austin can't capitalize. Bret busts out the ringpost Figure Four, that may be its PPV debut. Bret has a chair and tries to do a Pillman but Austin recovers in time and uses the chair on Bret. JR 'It's not about posing or covering a bald spot'. Victoria Crab applied but Bret makes the ropes. Bret breaks the Sharpshooter by going to the eyes and Lawler brings up if Bret submitted to the Sharpshooter and Vince replies 'hey it could happen', how little he knew. Austin is busted open by the guardrail, Bret targets the cut as JR asks 'is this the match Bret wanted?' is that a sly reference to the vetoed HBK/Bret match when Shawn had a split hair or something, Bret uses the chair on Austin's knee but Stone Cold breaks the Sharpshooter in the same manner as Bret did earlier, I like that. This has been going 17:40 and it feels like 5 minutes. Austin stomps a mudhole after Bret takes his patented corner bump. Soon Austin is choking Bret with a cord but he hits him with the ringbell, Rock > Scissors > Paper > Ringbell > Cord. Sharpshooter applied, we get the famous Austin visual, you know the one and Austin almost breaks it but passes out @ 22:05. Bret attacks again after the bell but Shamrock stops him, Bret is booed. Chioda comes out to help Steve and is Stunnered, he takes it more awkwardly than Vince does. ***** - Arguably the greatest Mania match, the match itself was very good but the whole thing with the double turn makes it great.
Donald Trump, Jr chats to Public En .... no sorry Nation of Domination. Faarooq = Chuck D, Crush = Terminator X, Clarence Mason = Proffesor Griff so D'Lo is Flava, and PG-13 = S1W.
Chicago Street Fight - LOD/Ahmed Johnson Vs. Nation
Officially it's Crush, Savio and Faarooq but all the Nation are there. PG-13 rap NoD to the ring, I prefer this to the instrumental version. Ahmed is dressed as a Road Warrior. Vince shills Mania 14, little did he know how big that would be. Big brawl to start with the faces on top, Ahmed somersault planchas over the guardrail onto Crush, whaaaaaat? There's to much going on to keep track of, making it fun to watch but hard to review. Animal with a dodgy piledriver to Faarooq on a table, they kind of fell off it. The as yet unamed D'Lo Brown holds up a sign which Savio throws Hawk into. Ahmed powerslams Faarooq through a table. Ahmed is choked with a noose. Faarooq now has HAwk in the noose as PG-13 get some digs in. Doomsday Device to Crush then Ahmed hitsh im with a 2-by-4 for 3 @ 10:45. Pearl River Plunge to D'Lo then a double Doomsday Device to PG-13, I liked that I must say. *** - I was tempted to go the full shebang just for Ahmed's plancha. A fun if at times almost to chaotic match here. Reminded me of Doom/IV Horsemen, also featuring Faarooq funnily enough, from Starrcade 90. These last two matches have finally woken the fans up.
Shawn Michaels comes down for commentary, announcing is better than jobbing I suppose.
WWF Title - Sycho Sid (c) Vs. Undertaker
Bret Hart won the Title at Final Four, cracking match check my review put then the match itself, as it had been vacated due to HBK breaking a nail or something *cough* didn't want to take the loss to Bret *cough*, Sid won the title the next night on RAW in the first title change in RAW history, at least the WWF Title anyway. I much prefer Takers Ministry theme, though true fact when humming it I do at time segue into Goldust's unintentionally. JR notes Taker's never lost at Mania, what ever came of that? Bret interupts the staredown and grabs a mic says he and Taker are no longers friends or BFFs in 2017 parlance, has a go at HBK then runs his mouth off at Sid and is powerbombed. Taker attacks as Sid threatens Bret. Deadman splash then a scoopslam gets 2. UT goes mid-school but is soon locked in a bearhug, we're only 1:47 into this. Sid delivers shots to the back then re-applies it. Deadman is sent flying over the SAT. Sid goes up top, oh how he'd come to regret that, and hits a double axehandle. Powerslam gets Sid 2 then he goes for a few more pin attempts. Sid is thrown into the crowd and unless UT channels Ahmed Johnson here then I don't care what happens. Chinlock applied then UT one ups that with a vulcan death grip. Double big boot has both men down. UT does his throat slit gesture as fans cheer, pobably hoping it's nearly over. Tombstone is countered and Sid hits his own for 2. Bret hits Sid with a chair, Vince earlier noted it was No DQ but the fans in the arena don't know that. Powerbomb is called for but Bret's here again and hotshots Sid and a Tombstone mercifully ends it @ 21:22. - I've always classed Miz/Cena as the worst Mania main event I've seen, I've watched Manias 12-27, 30/31, but now as of January 18th 2017 at 22:49 this one-ups it or one downs it I suppose. Just woeful it's as if the Mankind feud never happened and we were back to the UT of old.
15.5 / 35 - It looks okay as it's only 2 pts from .500 but more than half of it's score comes from the just two matches. Arguably the worst Mania ever, people mention IX but i've never seen it, for me this or 27 is worse as 27 may be better across the board but this has Austin/Bret.
Thumbs down as Austin/Bret is available elsewhere on their DVDs, get them instead.
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