- January 25th, 2004 from Philadelphia, PA.
- Attendance: 17,289
- Buys: 500,000
(This review is done in a style that I don't think I've used before or since, maybe I'll return to it one day but for now this is the only one I am aware of that isn't a move-for-move type of review and more a general overview of my thoughts)
- Having just reviewed Survivor Series 2003 I had intended to do Armageddon 2003 then carry on from there in order however I can't find Armageddon DVD, maybe it left in shame?, so I've gone straight to the 04 Rumble but at A'ddon Evolution did a Horsemen and claimed all the Gold (Bat/Ric = Tag, Orton = IC and HHH = WHC).
World Tag Titles - Tables Match - Batista/Flair (c) Vs. Dudleyz
Dudleyz had the Tag Titles at Armageddon after winning a Turmoil match but then Batista and Flair were entered as a surprise and won the Titles. This match is short and not very good, the only notable thing was when Flair was about to be 3Dd but Jonathon Coachman distracted Bubba and Batista Spine bustered D-Von through a table. Match went about 5 minutes and finish was out of nowhere earning it *1/2
John Cena is interviewed by Josh Matthews who looks like a flamboyant hair dresser but RVD interrupts.
CruiserWeight Title - Rey Mysterio (c) Vs. Jamie Noble (w/ a blind Nidia)
This is even shorter than the previous match, which gives me the feeling HHH/HBK is going to go about an hour to try over shadow the Rumble itself. They did more than the previous match though, it ended when Nidia accidentally tripped Noble leaving him easy prey for the 619, Rey wins. *1/2.
Eddie Guerrero Vs. Chavo Guerrero (w/ Chavo Guerrero. sr)
This match was a disappointment as whilst it got more time than the rest it lacked the intensity it needed. This was not only a Tag split up scenario but also a family feud but as stated you wouldn't know it was. Nothing much happened really and the ending was out of nowhere as Eddy suddenly hit Frog Splash for the 3 count, post match he beats up both Chavos. At this point in the review my hand started shaking and I couldnt write properly but I soldiered on even though my writing is nearly unreadbale. I'd of preferred a brawl style match. **
Benoit chats to Josh Matthews until Evolution appear, Flair says Benoit is the greatest technical wrestler today but tonight is all about Evolution.
WWE Title - Brock Lesnar (c) Vs. Hardcore Holly
Lesnar broke Hollys neck in 2002 so now Holly gets a Title Shot. Match sucks basically as it goes around 8 minutes and 4 of those are Lesnar holding Holly on the mat in a waistlock, as if a Harcore Holly match wasn't bad enough. Alabama Slam hits by Holly but he soon walks into an F-5 as Lesnar retains. This undercard has just been all wrong so far tonight. Most interesting thing about this - it was Lesnars last win on a WWE PPV until SummerSlam 2012 over HHH. *1/2
World Heavyweight Title - Last Man Standing - HHH (c) Vs. HBK
Unless this is HBK/Taker level quality I will hate this undercard. I hope it isn't big move - 9 count - big move - 9 count etc. from the off. HBK does an over exaggerated bump off a face buster. Wahey Fink is hit by the table cover when HHH removes it, fans boo when no-one goes through the announce table. HBK goes for his springboard crossbody but puts himself through the S-A-T and blades, why from that? Now we've entered dramatic count time as HBK is busted, woah HHH looks like Greg Valentine. Chairshot by HBK bust HHH as we've entered double juice territory, you see some people seem to think blood automatically makes a match much better, this is the counter point to that argument. HBK does his usual routine following a forearm but he misses the Sweet Chin Music as he gets low blowed. Pedigree doesn't get HHH the win then Sweet Chin Music gets .... a damn draw, it's a DRAW! the crowd rightfully boo that ending which is nothing more than a damn cop out, uh I hate this undercard it's been booked badly. Docked points for ending but honestly wasn't that great anyway. **1/2
Bischoff and Heyman come out because enough time hasn't already been wasted and here's Sheriff Austin who Stunners the pair. Austin being the guy who was fired from WWE in November 2003.
Royal Rumble Match
That guy is #1 and Orton is #2, but in all seriousness I can separate Benoit wrestler form murderer so I'll use his name from here on in. Nice touch as Tazz and JR are handling announcing duties (It's a mix of the RAW and SMACKDOWN! announcers is what that means). Benoit is on top as Mark Henry enters at #3. Kind of funny watching this now as Orton def. benoit for his 1st WHC Title and Henry drf. orton for his 1st, imagine if you'd been told that in 2004. Tajiri is #4 and there's no way he and Henry had the same time between numbers. Rolling germans to Tajiri. #5 is Bradshaw but he's quickly dumped by Benoit. Just 5 months later Bradshaw would be WWE Champion. #6 is Rhyno and soon Tajiri, Mark Henry are both eliminated. #7 is Matt Hardy who avoids being eliminated by Benoit. #8 is Scott Steiner who casually clotheslines people then hits suplexes. #9 is Matt Morgan as the Rumble slows down a bit in ring wise. #10 is Hurricane but Morgan no sells his stuff then throws him out, Hurricane looked hurt on the landing. #11 is Booker-T who faces off w/ Steiner, they had the last WCW Title match on WCW TV. Few eliminations so far but #12 is Kane so that may change. Steiner got eliminated during Kane's entrance by Booker. Kane cleans everybody's clock but as #13 enters Undertakers dong goes off allowing Booker to eliminate a shocked Kane, Spike Dudley comes out but doesn't make it to the ring as Kane attacks him. #14 is Rikishi. Rhyno is eliminated by Benoit via back drop. Benoit has 3 of the 7 eliminations so far. #15 is Rene Dupree who eliminates Matt Hardy but turns into a Rikishi Super Kick and Rene Dupree is gone from the Rumble. #16 is A-Train and Matt Morgan misses a corner boot allowing Benoit to eliminate him. Randy Orton eliminates both Rikishi and Booker-T in quick succession. #17 is Shelton Benjamin as Benoit eliminates A-Train and Orton eliminates Benjamin leaving just the original 2 in the ring. #18 is Earnest 'The Cat' Miller, isn't that Brodus Clays theme?, who dances with his announcer but Orton eliminates Miller Benoit went to eliminate his mate but threw off the guys afro wig, that was funny. #19 is Angle who fights with Benoit as Orton rests. #20 is Rico but he is soon RKOd and eliminated. For #21 we go backstage as Test is lay out, oh no! Stone Cold tells the guy who did it to enter the Rumble, this being the Stone Cold who was 'fired' from WWE at Survivor Series 2003, it turns out to be Mick Foley so Orton does the heel special - rabbit caught in headlights look, they fight and a Cactus Clothesline eliminates both Foley and Orton, they fight ringside where agents try to break it, Foley KOs Finlay w/ the ringsteps but Orton cracks Mick with a chair. #23 is Nunzio who is Mandible Clawed but not eliminated like Spike and sits at ringside so hasn't officially entered the match. Angle germans Christian and Benoit as #24 is Big Show who beats people down. #25 is Jericho who teams with Christian to beat down Angle in the corner. Everyone tries to eliminate Show but fail. #26 is Charlie Haas and Christian is eliminated by Jericho, what are friends for? #27 is Billy Gunn, there's my pick folks Fame Assers all round. Now remember #27 has produced the most winners up to this point (it may still now but this PPV is a decade old). #28 enters and it is ..... John Cena and he brings Nunzio into the ring. #29 is RVD. Kurt Angle gets FUd. The final man in at #30 is Goldberg he Spears Show and Gunn then eliminates Haas, then hits the Ultimate Spear and sends Nunzio from Philly to Tijuana, that's right folks from North American to Mexico. Nunzio and Gunn are eliminated by Goldberg so no 27 winner this year. Jackhammer is set up on Show but here's Brock Lesnar who F5s Goldberg leaving him easy prey for Angle to eliminate Goldberg. 5 men fail to eliminate Big Show then they take turns doing their moves to him. Show eliminates Cena whos knee goes more or less 90' on impact, that looked bad I think it's on the Dont Try This At Home or at least it was. Van Dam is caught in a monkey flip and eliminated by Big Show, how RVD expected to flip Show in the first place I dont know maybe he was in the clouds. Jericho goes all Rick Steiner and hits a top rope bulldog but is soon ChokeSlammed out by Show, bye-bye Jericho. Benoit is ChokeSlammed then Kurt hits Angle Slams on both Big Show and Benoit. Ankle Lock to Show but he uses the ropes to throw Angle out as we are down to the Final Two. Now I dont know if this is the intention but Benoit is left with a man who 5 people failed to eliminate as a team, how can he do it? Well he counters a Chokeslam to a front face lock and manages to choke Big Show who goes out over the top as Benoit is hooked on the rope, Benoit goes NY to Cali! Arguably the best ever Rumble, certainly a Top 3, i'm judging by match quality so going ***** however I understand if some cant watch this anymore. Benoit also had most eliminations with 6.
14 / 30 - A PPV of Jekyll and Hyde quality as the undercard is pretty bad - two of them were mismanaged time wise, one was an insult for a WWE Title match on PPV, another lacked intensity it needed and the WHC ended in a draw however if you think a Rumble PPV depends on the Rumble itself then i'd recommend this PPV just fast foward the rest of it.
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